Five Stages of Grief
by LiteraryLullaby
Summary: It was her job to act. Maybe she was such a good actress that she could hide her pain entirely, something even he couldn’t do. SxC


**So, believe it or not, this story was inspired by May Lily's "I Know You Love Me". Odd, since that story is not sad at all. But at one point in her story Chad mentions that denial is the first step to liking someone, when, in reality, it's the first stage of grief. So, I was inspired to write _this _****terribly sad story. I think it was an epic fail on my part, but you can be the judge.**

**Disclaimer: Nwo t'nod I. Take that, disclaimer.**

**Denial**

Chad Dylan Cooper sat gingerly on his chair, waiting for a certain someone to walk in the lunch room. Unlike most days, however, he did not wear a smirk as he waited. No plots to humiliate this person were formulating in his head. All insults were gone from his mind. He knew that insults and smirks and humiliation would be off limits for quite some time. Why?

Because Sonny Munroe, his worst enemy, would be needing his support for a while.

But as she walked through the door, he immediately saw that his assumption was wrong. Sonny did not seem sad. In fact, she seemed the same bright, chipper person she always was. He furrowed his brow, confused at the happiness of his enemy. She should be heartbroken. She should be crying, feeling so much anguish that she can barely bear to keep functioning. He should be standing up, taking the crying Sonny into his arms, and telling her that it will all be okay. So why was she happy?

He quickly stood up, walking over to the joyful brunette.

"Chad." She said, greeting him with the same false contempt that she always did. This only worried him even more, since he was near certain that if she was miserable she wouldn't keep up with their bickering ways.

"Sonny?" He asked; worry radiating off him like light from a lightbulb.

"Gosh, why do you sound so upset? It's Thursday, Chad. Lighten up. Tomorrow's Friday, and after that it's the weekend. You should be happy." Sonny smiled.

Chad felt his insides churn. She wasn't actually picking a fight. She was only peaceful and friendly with him when she was in a good mood. She should be in a terrible mood. Why wasn't she? When he found out the news, he had looked up all sorts of websites about coping with losses. They all warned against severe depression, oceans of tears, and horrid personalities. But none of them had warned him about happiness.

"You're—you're happy." He stuttered, he himself even unsure of the words.

"Of course I'm happy. It's a bright, sunny day and the weather is gorgeous. Why wouldn't I be happy?" She asked lightly, as if she hadn't a care in the world. Chad wondered if she knew. She didn't seem like the type of person who would spend every second watching television, so maybe the news hadn't reached her yet. He still had a hard time believing that, though. Surely her mother would have told her. Or someone else, at least.

"Sonny, don't you know what happened?" Chad asked slowly, afraid to set off a storm of crying and screaming. After all, it was her job to act. Maybe she was such a good actress that she could hide her pain entirely, something even he couldn't do.

"What do you mean?" She asked, sounding a bit concerned. Still, there was happiness in her voice. Happiness that didn't belong there. It belonged with others, perhaps someone who hadn't suffered a tragic loss. But it most definitely did not belong with Sonny.

"Sonny. Your dad, he's—he's dead." Chad whispered, as if saying it softer would lighten the blow. He watched Sonny carefully, awaiting tears, or screaming, or maybe even violence. But he received none of those. Her reaction was one that he had not been suspecting, though with the way the day was going he probably should have.

She laughed. Not a small, fake laugh, either. A full on, completely real, Sonny Munroe laugh. The type that you only received when you told a joke so funny that even a mime would break out laughing. She honestly thought it was funny. Chad found himself utterly confused, and slightly disturbed. Here he was, telling her that her dad had died, and she was laughing at him, as if he was playing a prank on her.

"Hah, wow. You actually scared me for a second there." She giggled, playfully hitting him on the shoulder as if he had been kidding.

"Are you joking or something? Sonny, it's all over the news. His plane crashed, there were no survivors. The left engine exploded ten minutes after takeoff." Chad insisted, trying to prove to the laughing girl that what he was saying was true.

"Chad, let me tell you something about my dad. He's a very funny guy. Hilarious, even. Every year, he plays a huge April Fool's joke on me. Last year it was that my family was moving to China. He bought a bunch of 'Teach Yourself Chinese' books, he rented a kimono, heck, he even bought the plane tickets. This is just another one of his jokes." Sonny explained to him, as if it was the most logical answer in the world.

"Sonny, it's the middle of May. April Fool's Day was over a month ago. This isn't a joke. They interviewed your mother!" Chad reminded her.

"Yeah, well, he forgot to prank me on April Fool's this year. This is probably just a late April Fool's joke. My mom's probably in on it. I bet my dad's sitting at home in Wisconsin, laughing his face off at how good he thinks he's getting me." Sonny laughed.

But this time, Chad noticed that the laugh wasn't completely cheery. Deep down, he realized, Sonny knew the truth about her father. She just didn't want to believe it. She was so far in denial that she had convinced herself that her father's death was a joke. She was hiding from the truth, instead believing what she so terribly wanted to believe. That her father was still alive, and that she would see him soon. Chad remembered the assumption he had made when he'd first met the Chuckle City folks, and found himself starting to believe it again.

Maybe laughter really was their only form of crying.

**Anger**

Even though he was pretty sure she was so deeply submerged in denial that she was paying rent, Chad still remained glued to Sonny's side, waiting for the moment that she'd crack and accept the fact that her father was gone. It had been two days, and she was still yet to change beliefs. He was beginning to worry that she would never believe him, instead living out her entire life under the assumption that she was the victim of a well played out prank.

On Sunday, the third day of her denial, Chad was almost convinced that she would never believe him. Somehow, he had made enough excuses to spend the whole weekend with her, and each day her denial grew worse. He wanted so terribly to believe her, to accept that her father was really alive and some sort of prank was being carried out. But he knew it wasn't true, especially since her mother had pulled him aside, begging him to convince her daughter of the truth. Though he promised he would, he was beginning to feel that it was impossible.

At one o'clock on Monday morning, however, his view changed.

He had awoken to the sound of his cell phone ringing. He rolled out of bed, sleepily trudging over to where his cell phone sat beside its charger. When he checked the Caller ID, it read "Sonny". He hastily opened his phone.

"Sonny? What's wrong?" He quickly asked, hoping that nothing too serious had occurred. Had she finally realized her father's death? Or did she just feel like calling to tell him once again that it was all some big joke, and that soon enough her father would reappear out of thin air?

"It's not Sonny, it's Connie, her mother." The older woman's voice quietly whispered. He could hear a distinct screaming in the background. His stomach dropped when he recognized the screaming voice to be Sonny's. He was immediately positive that she had accepted the loss.

"Oh, is something wrong?" He asked, but only out of politeness. He knew that something was wrong; anyone within a half mile of her house most likely knew something was wrong. Her screaming was unbearably loud, even over the phone. He wanted to move the receiver away from his ear, but doing so would prevent him from hearing her mother's whispering.

"Sonny's realized that it's not a joke. I can't get her to stop screaming. Please come over as soon as possible." Mrs. Munroe begged. Chad cringed as another ear-splitting scream filled the receiver. He quickly promised to be over within minutes, then hung up his phone. Without even bothering to make himself look presentable, he bolted out of his house, grabbing his car keys on the way out. Sonny Munroe was possibly the only girl he would risk his appearance for.

As he drove over to her neighborhood, he realized that he was not wearing shoes. He wracked his brain, trying to remember whether or not driving barefoot was illegal. Even if it wasn't, his feet were awfully uncomfortable on the pedals. He pushed it out of his mind, though, focusing only on getting to Sonny.

When he pulled into the driveway, he saw that all of the lights in the house were on. Stepping out of the car, he once again heard Sonny's screaming. Without even closing his car door, let alone turning off the car, he sprinted into the house.

Once inside, he tried to pinpoint where exactly the screaming was coming from. It sounded as if it was upstairs, though he wasn't sure. As he made his way up the staircase, however, he knew he was right. In the hallway stood Mrs. Munroe, silently weeping as her daughter yelled from behind a closed door. When the distraught mother saw Chad, she let out a sigh of relief. She pointed to the first door on his left, her eyes telling him what he had to do.

When he opened the door, Sonny's screaming came to a temporary halt. He was slightly taken aback by her appearance. Her eyes were red, puffy, and filled with tears. Her expression was one of anger, which fitted the screaming pretty well. In her hands was a stuffed tiger, though it looked as if she was about to decapitate it. Her breathing was quick and labored, sounding almost like a pant. Overall, the effect was frightening.

"You." She growled, making it seem like he was the ultimate enemy. He wanted to back away, to retreat into the hallway and tell her mother that he couldn't help the situation. But he stood his ground, feeling an odd sense of responsibility for Sonny's condition.

"Me." He said weakly, lacking his usual confidence.

"You! This is all your fault!" She screamed, pulling back the arm with the tiger in it as if she was going to launch it at him. Her words made no sense, but they were spoken with such certainty and hatred that he felt as if he somehow was to blame.

"How is it my fault?" He asked, though he knew it would not help to calm her down.

Before he could say anything else, the tiger was pelted at him. It hit him right square in the face, though he had a hunch that it was supposed to. He made to say something in protest to this, but a stuffed panda bear found its way to his abdomen. He took a step towards the vicious teen. She spoke again.

"How is it your fault? I'll tell you how. Two weeks ago, I told you about how I was flying my dad out to L.A. for a week. You could have stopped me! If you had told me not to fly him here, he'd still be alive!" Sonny screeched, chucking a giraffe in Chad's direction.

"Really? Even if I had told you not to fly him out here, you wouldn't have listened to me. This still would have happened." Chad yelled back, finding his confidence again. He dodged the stuffed bear that came flying his way. This only seemed to anger Sonny more.

"Shut up. Just shut up. I hate you. I hate you so much. I wish you would be gone instead of my dad!" Sonny shrieked bitterly, her voice ringing with loathing. Chad felt his heart crumble. Even though he told himself that she didn't mean it, he found himself believing her words. She wanted him dead. What was he to her, anyways? He was just an enemy who was trying much too hard to be a friend.

Without another word, he silently walked out of the room, down the stairs, and into his car. As he drove away, he felt himself gripping the steering wheel so hard his hands turned white, trying to keep control over the horrid emotions running through his mind. She couldn't have meant it. She didn't want him dead. She wanted him alive. She was Sonny Munroe; she wasn't even capable of hating people. She had been lying just to drive him away, just like in Episode 127 of _Mackenzie Falls_.

But wasn't it about time Chad realized that _Mackenzie Falls_ was nothing like reality?

**Bargaining**

For the rest of the week, Sonny did not speak to Chad. In fact, she avoided him as if he was some sort of plague. And the one time they did come face to face, when they were in line for food at the Commissary, she just glared at him. He understood why, too. On Wednesday, he had received another call from her grief-stricken mother. Apparently, to Sonny, he was the source of all her pain, and the very reason for her father's death.

He had learned from the denial, however, that this anger would not last forever. He knew that one day, at some random time, the anger would come to a sudden halt. He had no idea what emotion would follow the anger, and he often found himself nervously anticipating this new feeling. Whatever it was, it would come suddenly and without warning. More than once he found himself waiting for Sonny's new emotion with hopes that it would involve her speaking to him again.

He didn't have to wait long.

On Saturday, as he sat around his empty house, he heard a tentative knock at the door. Carefully, he got up and went to the door. As he opened it and realized who was standing on his stoop, he felt relief shoot through him. It left him, however, when he saw her face. Sonny was crying again, but this time there was no anger in her tears. Only sorrow and fear.

Without thinking much, he took her into his arms, giving her as much support as she needed. He felt a wet spot forming on his shirt, but for once he didn't care about what happened to his designer clothes. All he cared about was the sobbing girl in his arms, who had lost one of those dearest to her. After what seemed like an eternity, she removed her face from his shirt.

"Ch-Chad, I'm so sorry! I d-didn't mean it, I s-swear. I don't w-want you to d-die. I don't h-hate you at all. P-Please don't die. I c-can't bear to lose another person I l-love!" Sonny cried, once again burying her face into his shirt. He hugged her tighter, silently pleased with the fact that she loved him. But there was a time and a place for that, and this was not it.

"It's okay, Sonny. I was never going to leave you." He whispered.

Sonny kept crying into his shirt for what felt like forever. Chad wished there was more he could do for her, but he knew that he was doing all he could do. She needed his support. She was at her weakest right then, so he had to be at his strongest for the both of them. After almost an hour, she removed her head from his chest once more.

"Please, make him give my dad back." She whispered brokenly, sounding almost like a child.

"Who?" Chad asked.

"Whoever took my dad away from me. Please make him give him back." Sonny explained. Chad closed his eyes, wishing it could be that simple. That he could just go find some evil man who had taken her father and force him to return her dad. But no one had stolen her father. He had died.

"I wish I could. But I can't." Chad answered sadly.

"Please? I'll do anything. I'll donate all of my money to charity, I'll quit my job, I'll—I'll give away everything I own. Please just give him back." Sonny pleaded. Chad was now aware that she was no longer talking to him, but to some other higher power she believed had stolen her father. He opened his eyes again, looking down at the beautiful girl in his arms. She was looking up, but not at him.

"I know I don't go to church often," she continued, "but if you want I'll go every Sunday. I'll be more religious, I swear. Please, just give him back." Sonny begged, sounding desperate now. Chad knew he had to intervene before it got any worse. He believed in God, but he knew there was no way Sonny was going to get her father returned to her.

"Sonny, no matter how much you beg and plead, God's not going to give you your dad back. He's gone." He said, trying to be as kind as possible with his words. She looked up at him with her big brown eyes, which were filled with more sorrow and misery than he could bear. He looked away, angry at himself for not being able to remove her pain. She didn't deserve this.

Then again, did anyone?

**Depression**

On Monday, Chad expected Sonny to be sad when she walked in. He expected her to have bloodshot, puffy eyes from crying so much. He expected her to come to him, needing his support once more. He would take her into his arms again, allowing her to ruin his _Mackenzie Falls_ uniform. He expected her to cry for a long time, then to insist that they go to their own sets and get some rehearsal done. What he didn't expect, though, was for her to come in the way she did.

Emotionless.

That was really the only description he could think of for her. She seemed like a robot, with her blank face, slow walking, and simple attire. When he snuck over to her set, he realized further that she was putting minimal effort into her acting. Just enough to get by, he realized. This emotionless state scared him, since over the past two weeks he had seen so many emotions from her. Never had he expected to see none.

When he walked up to her at lunch and attempted to make casual conversation, she gave him simple, one word answers as she picked at her food. With a glance at her costars, he saw that they were just as worried as he was. It seemed as if Sonny had never acted like this her whole life.

And when Chad received a phone call Wednesday afternoon from her mother, he knew there was something seriously wrong with Sonny. Her unemotional state was beginning to sincerely worry him. She had gone from happy to angry to miserable to nothing at all. Was this normal, or was she falling off the deep end? He didn't know if that was true, but he did know that he wasn't going to let it happen.

So Wednesday evening, as everyone was leaving the studio, he stopped Sonny by her car. Her face remained blank, not even the surprise of seeing him leaning against her battered truck affecting her. When she monotonously asked him why he was there, he let his emotion flow out of him.

"You're like some robot, Sonny. You don't smile, you don't frown, you don't do anything. It's scaring people. I understand that your loss is hurting you, but this is not the way to deal with pain. Showing emotion is not a bad thing. I've seen you break down in so many ways these past two weeks. You know that you can show emotion around me. Please." He begged, hoping his words would make her change her facial expression.

But she just stood there, face blank and eyes uncaring.

"Sonny, please. I'll do anything to get a reaction out of you. You know what? I'll even tell you right now. Ever since that fake date we went on, I've been completely in love with you. Yeah, I said it." Chad confessed, looking closely at her face for a reaction. But there was nothing.

"Goddamnit, Sonny! You know what? You're dad is dead. He's not coming back, and even your robotic state isn't going to do any good. You just keep hurting the people closest to you. Your mom has already lost your dad; she doesn't need to lose her daughter to depression." Chad said. The moment after the words were out of his lips, he regretted them. They were possibly the cruelest things he had ever said to her, even if he secretly thought of them as true.

But as he looked into her eyes, he saw pain and sadness flash across them before she could hide it away. So Sonny really was there, deep down under her emotionless shell. Maybe this was just another one of her odd phases that she was going through. Maybe it would end soon. Chad found hope filling his heart.

"Bye." Sonny mumbled, climbing into her car. Before he could even return the farewell, she was speeding out of the parking lot. He slowly made his way to his own car, feeling an odd mixture of guilt and hope seep into his mind. On the bright side, he had seen that Sonny wasn't entirely emotionless, and that her real self was still hidden deep below her depression.

On the dark side, she most likely never wanted to speak to him again.

**Acceptance**

For an entire week, Chad didn't see Sonny at all. When he asked her costar, known only to him as Blondie, about it, she informed him that Sonny was taking some time off to grieve over her father. Chad wondered if she was showing emotion again, or if she was still the same robot, numb to all feelings. Along with that, he wondered if she would ever forgive him for the terrible things he'd said to her.

On Friday night, an entire nine days after their talk in the parking lot, he finally got to see Sonny.

He had been watching an old episode of _So Random!_ at the time, desperate to see Sonny smiling and happy. In the sketch he was watching, she was getting some sort of food thrown on her at an odd fast food restaurant. He made a face at the television, wondering what made teens watch this show. He went to turn it off, but when the camera returned to Sonny, he found himself unable to do so.

But when his doorbell rang, he quickly turned the television off. He couldn't have anyone catching him watching _So Random!_, even if he was in love with its star. He quickly got up, smoothing out the wrinkles in his shirt as he headed to the door. He opened it, wondering who in the world would drop by at ten o'clock. He already had a question prepared, something along the lines of "Why the hell are you at my house so late?" But when he saw who was standing at his door, he was speechless.

Sonny Munroe looked different than she had a week before. She was once again back to wearing her fashionable outfits, instead of the simple ones she had resorted to wearing. Her hair, which had been in a messy bun for the longest time, was down in its usual curly manner. And, best of all, her face showed clear, obvious anxiety. She was showing emotion, meaning that her odd depression was over. Before he could say anything, though, she was speaking.

"He's dead. My dad is dead, and he's not coming back. You've spent the last three weeks trying to tell me that, and I finally accept it. Thank you." Sonny said gratefully, though he could hear the sadness still in her voice. Chad felt relief rush through him, but his previous guilt made itself known once more.

"I'm sorry I was so mean back in the parking lot. I didn't mean to hurt you like that, I was just angry." He apologized. Sonny shook her head, as if she knew something that he didn't.

"Chad, last time I got angry I told you that I wanted you dead and blamed you for, well, you know. All you did was tell me the truth that I needed to hear. Don't be sorry." She assured him, seeming much more confident in what she was saying than she had been in a while.

He smiled, happy that he was forgiven. Suddenly, Sonny was hugging him tightly. At first he stumbled back, surprised by her action, but he soon he put his arms around her, pleased at the close contact. For a while they remained like that, drawing as much as possible from the embrace. Support, love, understanding; it was all there. When they separated, she wore a small, sad smile. He knew it would be a while until he would get to see her true toothy grin again.

But for now, he could deal with her poignant smile.

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**I know, I know, I know. The very ending is a little funky. But I spent so long trying to think of a good note to end it on that I just got fed up with it and ended it like that. Oh well.**

**In my opinion, just favoriting a story and not leaving a review is the same as reading an entire book in the bookstore, realizing you love it, and then not buying it. Come on, people, give us authors a little recognition. Let me know if you really liked it. Gracias. :)**

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